I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
