I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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