i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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