Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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