I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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