Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize