she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
