what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
