i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
