What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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