Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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