i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
