I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
