A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
