If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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