My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
