She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
