Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
