she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this just has baby written all over it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
