Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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