i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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