Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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