Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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