He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
