I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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