Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
