I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic