Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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