you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
