Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The ass gains better be worth it
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