You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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