we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
