whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
