Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
