I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize