In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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