he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
