You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
