who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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