I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
