It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
