btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Michael Bay diarrhea
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My vagina is very pro this idea
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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