I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
