I didn't shave. On purpose
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
