Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
