im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize