so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
