I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
