U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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