Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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