We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
