umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
