There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
