well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let's get the cat blown out
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
