she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
