good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
