His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
