Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
