his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
