It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
