real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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