He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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