Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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