i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
