You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
